I had a revelation, realisation, Eureka a moment. I'm coming off social media. Yes, I agree, there is some slight irony here, as pointed out by a good mate of mine.
My digital detox isn't like the ones you may read about, where people give up all technology for a week or so, and just eat white rice and drink water. No, that will just make me ill, too bloomin extreme. No, I decided today, I wanted to give Foxy Lady Creations a rest, I am done! I can't be my creative self, and make anything else, as I don't have the storage, anyway its getting too soul destroying, making stuff, and still owning it, 2, 3, or 4 years later. So I am giving myself a clean, break, which also means......giving up my related social media. I am done with Facebook, done, done, done. Sick of it, sick of hearing people ranting (oops irony again), other peoples opinions, peoples opinions based on fake news or ill researched evidence. I don't need this crap in my head. I don't need reminding of what's in the news, by every tom dick and harry, I don't need updates on nearly 500 friends on FB. This also means closing my Page Manager for my business. But I am sick of trying to be jolly, and think up interesting things to discuss, when I am going absolutely nowhere with my business. I am sick of preaching about the climate, I think most people have got the gist now anyway. It's boring, depressing, oppressive and unhealthy.
I have known this for a while, and many of you will think the same, that these social media apps, are potentially the downfall of society. Its not all doom and gloom, especially if you use it wisely, but when you are an environmental campaigner and business owner, you have to be part of it all, and I just can't be dealing with it for now.
Instead, I will just bore you all, with my daily blogs.
Friday 6th
Weather: woahhhh, its a sunny day
Feeling: I'm exhausted - mentally.
Activity: I have taken all the social media apps off my phone, and logged out of Facebook, Pages Manager and Twitter for now. The main ones where conversation occurs, and politics intruding into your day.
I started Spring cleaning, my time wasn't spent scrolling through pages, checking my followers and comments, it was spent usefully.
Thoughts: My head whirrs thinking about, floods, rain, corona virus, and more rain is due. I know I live on the water, on an island, but there is also a lot of flooding, we are surrounded by water (more irony) which is contaminated, more likely with sewage (I found out a week later that there was a sewage leak locally - kept quiet!!). My daughter is possibly ill because of this, yes its her own fault, in some ways, or even 'our' fault. Mia has a natural affiliation with water, she has always loved being in water, and as soon as we let her, she will be in the river, paddle boarding. She loves mucking around in giant puddles, she saw the flooding in Northcroft Park as an extension of the river, the river which we have tested previously, and know how clean it can be, but not flood water. Never again, will she do this.
Short rant at the flooding...
Weather: woahhhh, its a sunny day
Feeling: I'm exhausted - mentally.
Activity: I have taken all the social media apps off my phone, and logged out of Facebook, Pages Manager and Twitter for now. The main ones where conversation occurs, and politics intruding into your day.
I started Spring cleaning, my time wasn't spent scrolling through pages, checking my followers and comments, it was spent usefully.
I am feeling agitated, but many reasons for that. I think it may take a few days to get out of the Facebook zone.
My fridge was cleaned by 9.30, then a cupboard and I prepped 2 meals all before the morning was done. Thoughts: My head whirrs thinking about, floods, rain, corona virus, and more rain is due. I know I live on the water, on an island, but there is also a lot of flooding, we are surrounded by water (more irony) which is contaminated, more likely with sewage (I found out a week later that there was a sewage leak locally - kept quiet!!). My daughter is possibly ill because of this, yes its her own fault, in some ways, or even 'our' fault. Mia has a natural affiliation with water, she has always loved being in water, and as soon as we let her, she will be in the river, paddle boarding. She loves mucking around in giant puddles, she saw the flooding in Northcroft Park as an extension of the river, the river which we have tested previously, and know how clean it can be, but not flood water. Never again, will she do this.
Short rant at the flooding...
It was a long day, with Mia at home ill again, this last few weeks, have been getting tougher, as Mia has had two illnesses, and the weather has been horrific every weekend, and we are boat bound. I have had very little time to have a clear run at thinking since Christmas.
I relax on my sofa and look out of the window and think that I have to share it, blue skies, tree and tepee all framed by my window, what a simple view, with a story.
Tonight the sunset is beautiful on the canal, I need to share the swan gracefully swimming downstream, the waxing balsamic moon behind me. But why?
All of these things are magic, they are wonders of nature, but I need to stop feeling the need, it would make a good post, and I must share it with the world. All of this thinking is unnecessary, it also distracts you from being mindful of the view, and experiencing it in a slower time, as you rush to get your phone, and get engaged with the cyber world again.
Saturday
Weather: Dry - woop
Feeling: Very stressy and anxious, mainly due to impromptu Pizza gathering. "Richard!!" My anxiety is particularly bad today, I feel high, but its not a happy high, and its an annoying high and you feel hectic. I know if I have a drink soon, I will get drunk, because, if I feel hectic, I will drink hectic. Not a good situation to be in. I call my dad for advice, hes good like that, it kills a good 45 minutes. I was hoping for a brief afternoon kip, to potentially get my heart rate down, and my brain to go slower. Everything feels like noise, I don't want visitors, I need peace. In my head I am screaming, everyone just go away, I need a break.. and then our guests arrive.
Activity: Trying to get peace and quiet. At 5.00 I have a gin, then crack open the wine, it was a good evening , and I put myself to bed at 10.00, shocked our friends as I'm often one of the last to bed, but I had done my bit.
Weather: Dry - woop
Feeling: Very stressy and anxious, mainly due to impromptu Pizza gathering. "Richard!!" My anxiety is particularly bad today, I feel high, but its not a happy high, and its an annoying high and you feel hectic. I know if I have a drink soon, I will get drunk, because, if I feel hectic, I will drink hectic. Not a good situation to be in. I call my dad for advice, hes good like that, it kills a good 45 minutes. I was hoping for a brief afternoon kip, to potentially get my heart rate down, and my brain to go slower. Everything feels like noise, I don't want visitors, I need peace. In my head I am screaming, everyone just go away, I need a break.. and then our guests arrive.
Activity: Trying to get peace and quiet. At 5.00 I have a gin, then crack open the wine, it was a good evening , and I put myself to bed at 10.00, shocked our friends as I'm often one of the last to bed, but I had done my bit.
Thoughts: Still got lots on my mind, thinking I should maybe get rid of Messenger as well. I'm sick of seeing names, groups, previous conversations. Things I haven’t been able to commit to. A specific person asking me to do things, in the name of the environment, just to let you know, activists offer, and should not be asked. People's profile pictures popping into my head, with dread, I need to get it all out.
OK, I have had to edit two paragraphs out, because it may upset people, and I don't want to do that. It would be quite funny for some stand up comedy, but to obvious to those people it is them, and I don't want to offend any family or friends. But basically, it was a rant, about the repetitiveness, and boringness of some peoples post. I mean, some people are so regular, you practically know all their comings and goings, you don't need all this inside your head too. For example, when so and so goes to Costa, or another person doing a daily post getting rid of tat to local groups, that kind of thing.
Why does it always happen to me? Mia brings round a neighbour and his friend to meet the kitten. "five minutes" I rant. No sooner had the 'house dwelling' boy entered the boat, he had injured himself by putting his hand on our log burner, and march him back to my neighbour. I can't deal with this right now!
Why does it always happen to me? Mia brings round a neighbour and his friend to meet the kitten. "five minutes" I rant. No sooner had the 'house dwelling' boy entered the boat, he had injured himself by putting his hand on our log burner, and march him back to my neighbour. I can't deal with this right now!
 |
| Gorgeous stone baked log fired pizza. Mmmmmmmm |
Sunday
Weather: Sick of this relentless weather, all the rain, and the winds, its turbulent, and turbulent times, and my brain is turbulent too. I need some sunny spring days, some stillness, I often embrace storms, but this is too much, weekend after weekend of big storms, and constant high winds. I want a rest.
Feeling: Like I have synergy with the weather e.g turbulent
Thoughts: Facebook is still at the forefront of my mind, more than it was when I was actually using it. My thoughts can still not leave the masses behind, the 450 ‘friends’, the groups I manage or work with, I just want to leave it all behind, recluse from the cyber world.
Thoughts: I think I need to take this a step further on de- cluttering my phone with unnecessary outside world interference. So I uninstall Instagram too (for the time being)
Tribal mentality, yes I am guilty of this, but have been trying to get away from it, and yet more are being formed. Extinction Rebellion has got my goat, people following direction from Roger Hallam like he's the bloomin messiah, (apologise to Roger, he is probably a very nice, well meaning guy) They want things done their way, and expect activists to do what they want, and with a no booze no drugs policy, call themselves rebels? Yes they have done some good awareness raising, but equally it's become regime for the middle classes that want to be on trend. Also, they have made some mistakes with their actions, which I may discuss at a later date.
Many times in my home, I am looking at plastic, its on my mind. What shall I do with it? which bin bag or box? Where does it actually go after that? I'm full of remorse a million times a day. I can hear hardcore stating, don't buy it then, use alternatives. I do use alternatives, and more often than not avoid it where I can, and have done for years. But some things I buy are packaged in it (e.g meat) and there currently is no alternative, I don't have time to pop round the supermarkets with my own plastic container, I do online shopping and it comes how it comes, sometimes I might be ill haven't energy for saving the planet, or I might be too skint this month to play the game.
I would like to get back to the 90's when it was just texting and emails, how much calmer life was. I didn’t even know about climate change then either.
I just want to be me and live carefree and enrich my life; will I ever let go, because once you know, you know! Re: climate change. I certainly might feel better without it in my hand beeping at me, a few times a day, here's a reminder that the worlds going to end in devastation by climate warmth. Hav445jjjj5555555555555555555555555f bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbcbc cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc xcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccce a I become a doomer too? I know many
This is where our kitten sabotaged my keyboard
Black and White, I want to get away from the black and white, far right, far left, do-gooders, and the liberals well them you can just forget.
Activity: MinimalThoughts: I think I need to take this a step further on de- cluttering my phone with unnecessary outside world interference. So I uninstall Instagram too (for the time being)
Tribal mentality, yes I am guilty of this, but have been trying to get away from it, and yet more are being formed. Extinction Rebellion has got my goat, people following direction from Roger Hallam like he's the bloomin messiah, (apologise to Roger, he is probably a very nice, well meaning guy) They want things done their way, and expect activists to do what they want, and with a no booze no drugs policy, call themselves rebels? Yes they have done some good awareness raising, but equally it's become regime for the middle classes that want to be on trend. Also, they have made some mistakes with their actions, which I may discuss at a later date.
I'm plate spinning, and my head is the plate, I wish it would crash to the floor then I will have a break.
Lets end with something up lifting, a cute kitten photo.
Lets end with something up lifting, a cute kitten photo.
 |
| Mischief Molly |
No comments:
Post a Comment