Generation X Geriatric mum

I have everything to live for, I have a beautiful daughter, a kind, supportive partner, and a new baby that I adore (our 3 month old kitten Molly). My other half (OH from now on) has a good job and only a 10 minute walk away, we live on the out skirts of a prestigious market town, and own our home (albeit Narrow-boat Foxy Lady). We are financially in a position for me not to work, and still have a good life style. I have been to Australia, and Qatar to visit family in the last 2 years, and I have flights to Australia again for this Easter, so long as the Corona virus doesn't impact upon it. I am in good health, attractive (when I bother with make-up) and in general a bubbly personality. My parents are still alive, and fit and married nearly 50 years. I have a great circle of friends, some of which I would now call family. I also live surrounded by a great community, from as close as the moorings, to West fields, and indeed throughout Newbury and West Berks, I am also part of the colourful, nurturing boating community.

I have skills and talents that some people would give their right arm for. I can make clothes, I can sing, I  am funny and can cook like Nigella Lawson, my neighbours actually refer to me as the domestic goddess (move over Anthea Turner).
I live off grid, and therefore have minimal impact on the environment, apart from my recent trips abroad,which if anything is to help my mental health. I might add, and too ease my guilt I didn't not take any air travel for 10 years
So why? Why? did I end up with depression and anxiety?
I am not a qualified psychiatrist, but having suffered for a few years now with these conditions, and through life experience have a few possible answers. I think partly, it is because of my DNA, I am a 'creative', and with that comes highs and lows.
People who are naturally creative, are fortunate, and unfortunate at the same time.
Creativity can bring you a sense of achievement, it can heighten your dopamine, it connects you to other people, as you are doing something for others, to share with others, be it music, art, dance or the written word. Have I missed anything? anyway you get my drift. Equally, it brings the opposites of those, as you may feel pressure to produce, and fear of failure, you seek for your work to be admired, and of use to someone.
I am an achiever, and I like to please. Prior to having my daughter nearly ten years ago, I lived a full and energetic life, I worked hard, and I certainly played hard. I had a managerial role in the Employment Sector, I was studying for my 3rd Degree, I would go to the gym, and liked to party. My goal had always been to get a good career behind me, then have a child and probably return to work, slipping back into where I left off. I'm trying to get across that I have always worked hard and strived to be successful, and becoming a mum doesn't change this, its just your job that changes and the environment (home and village hall baby groups). Maybe we are called 'Career mums'.
I also think that being an older mum Generation X (I was 38 when I gave birth) has its pressures, not only was I constantly tired, I had standards to uphold that I had set myself. These standards are probably due to the fact that I had a long career behind me and its inbred in me. I wanted to be a stay at home mum (SAHM) I wanted to do the best job I could.
Yes you heard it right, geriatric mum. I had no idea until I just googled it now, I knew their was a medical term for mums over 35 having a child, but wasn't expecting that insult.
This blog is mainly about the adverse effects of becoming a mum later in the life, and the feelings it may bring upon you like loss of identity
I am writing this blog, as I feel that it is possible, that many other geriatric mums may have experienced similar to me, but have kept it to themselves, thinking they were alone. After all, we are strong women, perhaps we were in management in our previous lives, and had to deal with many difficult situations in our careers, so we are likely to not admit we are struggling, or totally out of focus.
I think the anxiety that I was diagnosed with in 2016 was down to becoming a parent.
Prior to having my daughter in 2010, I was a free spirit, with humour, living life to the max, motto being, work hard, play hard.

For me being an older mum, exhausted me, and changed my whole outlook on myself. By the time you are in your mid 30's, you are fully developed woman, possibly with 10 - 20 years career behind you. If you gained qualifications be it professional or academic, you may even be regarded as an expert in your field. So to then become a mum, in particular a 'stay at home' mum, your whole purpose in life is turned on its head, and your identity stripped from you.
Don't get me wrong, this is what I wanted, when I was in my 20's, I wanted to get a career behind me first, then I could easily go back to work once I had a baby. Although this idea changed in the run up to being pregnant, I wanted to stay at home and look after my child, and fortunately for us our finances allowed this.
I don't regret this decision one moment, I totally made the right choice for me and my family, and I cherished many moments being a new mum, but, it was tough at times, and probably tougher when I came out of the other side (of full time care) and she started full time school.

Sleep deprivation killed me, after 3 - 4 months she was sleeping from 11 - 7.00 am so i was lucky really. but I don't think I have ever recovered from it mentally. I can sleep for England, and relish opportunities to do so at my leisure. Broken sleep, and lack of sleep was so tough. I remember and occasion when she was bout 6 months, I sat on our front step and said to Rich, please remind me how tough this is, although, we already knew she would would be our only one. We were blessed with a beautiful, perfect, happy baby at my age of 38, I wouldn't have risked have another anyway.

I made sure she ate all the right foods, I would stress if she didn't eat, I wanted to mobilise her and socialise her. I wanted to educate her and entertain her without use of the T.V. I think the entertaining part is a modern day obsession, we feel we have to entertain our children 24/7, taking them to this group and that soft play, swimming, baby music, constructing our dining tables into Mr.Maker. Our parents didn't have time for this as more women started to work in the 1970's.
As the experts say, I slept when the baby slept, and by the time she was 2 and starting to drop her afternoon kip, I was 'shitting' myself. I relished those afternoons, on my bed, cuddling my toddler, it was 'our' time, and my time, giving me the energy to finish the day. I panicked, how am I going to get thriugh this? how can I occupy her with no energy. I set to writing a list (we are big note takers and list writers me and Rich ), of all the extra things we could do in an afternoon.

Mia started full time school in 2015, and I think this maybe where my anxiety came from. I was excited at the prospect at having more time to concentrate on myself and my sewing business. I spent a lot of my time rushing round, doing things, making as many things as I could. I felt that my creative needs would be met once again, and be myself other than 'just a mum'.
I could also spend more time focusing on activism, in particular anti-fracking. I think at the height of my hysteria, I was managing about 4 Facebook groups, and 4 twitter (possibly more). This soon got out of hand so I started to drop from a few commitments, but then I would end up adding to this by starting other ventures like a Newbury craft group, and the Kennet and Avon boat traders East End group.
I spent a lot of hours in particular on social media spreading information about fracking, otherwise known a s a keyboard warrior. Yes, I did get physically involved too, but as most of the sites were a long way from where I live, most of my activism was online. Constantly seeing the horror stories of the environment, and watching people live on Facebook, being harassed by the police, was a daily, sometimes hourly occurrence for me, no wonder I got down and anxious.More recently I cut down to my own business stuff, Friends of The Earth and a local community group. Maybe my problem is that I have to be involved with something all of the time, I need projects. So I need to find a way of managing this so I don't over whelm myself.

Me and Joey released from the nick Oct 18

When I speak to other mums that are a similar age to me from educated back grounds that are SAHMs, and they have all expressed that have, or had a form of depression around this time. The job of being a full time mum, to being a part time one can be a difficult transition.
I finally broke during Easter, I just couldn't cope anymore, the last straw was when I started staring blankly into space, feeling numb, and incredibly low. I was sleeping a lot, and didn't want to join the outside world (very unlike me as I have always been an extrovert.
I went to the doctors, who offered me meds, but l declined, thinking that if I came off the pill (getting a bit old for it anyway) and had a coil fitted and some therapy I would be fine.
The moral of this story is that I wasn't fine. Eventually I went onto Citalapram. The first week or two were bad, I was worse than ever, luckily a good friend told me this is usual and just to ride the wave. I could barely get out of bed to take Mia to school. After a couple of months I was good, functioning again, but made the mistake of stopping taking them, and I did it quite fast. So, a couple of months down the lie I was ill again. Now I am still taking them, and hopefully, I will eventually ween off them, veeeery sloooooooooowly, and if I don't, I don't. As long as I am happy and in control of my emotions, I will do what it takes. Who knows, I might even be Peri-Meni!! (Pre-menopausal)

By the way, I also embraced mediation on my road to wellness, and believe it is an excellent form of well being. This blog is also part of my well being, I love writing, whether its journaling or poetry, it gets the thoughts I have racing around out of my mind, and hopefully, you may have gained something from my sharing. Please make a comment in the box at the bottom, I would love to hear from you.
Finally its Mother Day in the UK today. I was planning to go and have a lovely meal out, but as the Corona Virus has hit the UK, we can't do that now so here's what I'm hoping for
1) Richard and Mia can go to town and buy me a paper and try to find bread!!
2) Whilst they are out I can meditate
3) I lounge around reading the paper and supplements
4) Share a lovely roast lamb dinner with Richard and Mia and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc (or 2)

Further reading:
Stay at home mums and depression article
A recent article about mums with eco-anxiety
A blog about having a boat kid
Creativity and parenting - the difficulties
My blog about living off grid
NHS - Mental Health advice

Facebook Detox

Monday 9th March 2020

Weather : A grand day, gorgeous and sunny. It maybe a solar powered day. Woop

Feeling : I have the attention span of a gnat, the memory of an elephant, and the energy of a sloth. Couldn’t face Body Balance, I'm so out of touch with exercise regime, whilst Mia has been off school a lot

Activities: Decluttering. Got rid of my bike, it was in such a bad state, it was going to cost as much to repair as we paid for it, a left threading needle sewing machine, (don't ask) my old overlocker, old TV and laptop. Crap that's been hanging around in the van for a good few months oh and a couple of bags of soiled curtains.
Tidied all my sewing stuff away, no need to have such easy access, and to get rid of it visually.

I also gave our compost loo a thorough clean, scrubbing scurf from the inside of the wee compartment.

Conversation: I interrogated a few folk at the local tip re: recycling, I met John from a German company at the tip, that collected textiles." There's 80 of us van owners in the UK, I got driver of the year last year who was driver of the year told me I was the second person that asked him about where the clothes go. Another girl made a couple of grand  out of curtains, did a fashion show, and offered him a couple of hundred, but my boss, no he would sack me". Good news about rags going to Germany and Poland to be made into shoes. Nothing goes in landfill. He liked to eff and jeff a bit , I quite liked John
Something new: Joined Whats app, i know its social media, but I can start from scratch with it, just family and close friends to start
Why does it always happen to me? emptied the pee bucket, and splashed my yoga pants and drenched my Sketchers

Our sexy glittery compost loo

Whats app

Tuesday

Digital Detox: Still thinking about social media too much. Whilst driving home from school drop off, listening to Zoe Ball, 3 songs, all awesome, New Order, Joy Division, and whacked it up for Everything Counts by Depeche Mode, my first thought was ooh I should tweet her and tell her how awesome it was. I need to focus on thinking singularly, and ??? not about pleasing the masses, or the fact that I can relate to whoever sent the email. I feel like I am making more time to chat to people as I pass.

Unsubscribing from emails too, sod the National Days emails, that I get in hope of inspiration for hash tags. I don't need reminding by every person, website, or whatever that its St. Patricks day, or 'hide your head in the oven day'

Something good : I am certainly communicating more with Rich via text, I hadn’t realised just how little I bothered with him in comparison to the rest of the cyber world.

Strangely, I feel my peripheral vision is wider, I'm noticing more around me. As I was driving.

Activity : Scrubbed floor - wanted to do that for years.. why haven't I done it before??

Mindfulness:

I realise that I never counted the essential things in life as part of my day e.g library, pharmacy, I would do them on auto pilot, they weren't good enough to be present in or discuss whilst having drinks. I was a high-ish achiever, so this kind of stuff is relevant, i did it blind folded. It doesn’t count as a decent chore, like cleaning the fridge. My expectations of myself are high.
Something new: I found nice useful apps and decided I could add nicer things to my front screen of phone, gone are the usual's, and now I have mindfulness apps, the leisure centre, Waitrose, the daily Zen (inspirational quotes) and Memorize (a journaling app).

The Daily Zen 

Memorize - A daily journal app

Lets Meditate 

Wednesday

Weather: The wind is up again tonight, stooooop.

Boat rocks, doors rattle, things jangle on the roof, In bed it was lashing around

Activity: Sorting and decluttering, got my watch fixed after 6 months, got cleaning product refills, got new glasses that Mia broke, got prescription, library took loads of books that were cluttering my shelf (which isn't many on a narrow boat).
I had a significant moment today, when I put my repaired watch back on, I decided to take my Frack-Off wristband off. I decided it was a positive thing to do, I think that we have won now. I was given it by Tina-Louise about 5 years ago, when the Nanas visited Misson.

Digital Detox: Occasionally I go to pick my phone up, for no reason other than, that's what I have been conditioned to do, to see what's going on, what am I missing. But I am not suffering with Fomo (fear of missing out) more like Jomo (joy of missing out).

Exercise: Yoga - tough, I was suffering from yesterday's elbow planks with Helen, and Paula's high planks were even tougher.
Something new: Used my meditation app - fab

Why does it always happen to me? I was overzealous with my decluttering, and tried 3 times to scan a book at the library that was actually mine (a doomers book about the environment) I took it as a sign not to read the book at the moment, it might upset my positivity.

Ready for the Million Mask March 5.11.2016

Thursday

Weather: Some sun, but don't, be fooled, more rain, in fact hail, and strong winds AGAIN. Those cobwebs are well clear.

Feeling: I wake up early, feeling like I am being unravelled like an elastic band ball, things are going in the right direction, but still more bands till I get to the core, and the core ends with nothing, hopefully, an emptiness of my mind. I felt positive about being up early, the day is mine to be had. Mia was l ready up early too watching TV with Molly, Unspoken Foxy Lady rule. If she gets up before us, she can put the telly on. I enjoyed this morning, extra time together before school, more laid back a lovelier way start to the day, than our usual rushing around.

Exercise: Yoga, same as yesterday, ooh those planks are getting harder

Detox Notes: No misunderstood messages, no trying to post something without offending someone , no worrying, no time wasting. I am not missing Facebook at all

Something New: Saying yes to a coffee immediately! At school drop off a friend desperately invited me for coffee, more often than not I would say no, I would usually feel like I was 'too busy'. Obliged to be doing stuff for my so called business (bitter? me ?). I immediately said yes, and it was a good job, as she really was a friend in need.
Other News: Trump stopping EU flights due to Coronavirus, so I check my insurance for my planned Easter trip to Australia to see my brother (it's looking 50/50 we will go).

The Plank

Feb 2022 update : We didn't get to Australia due to Covid restrictions, but we are booked to go Easter 2022

I am still off Facebook and most social media, and I barely miss it

Digital Anxiety

Thursday 5th March 2020

I had a revelation, realisation, Eureka a moment. I'm coming off social media. Yes, I agree, there is some slight irony here, as pointed out by a good mate of mine.
My digital detox isn't like the ones you may read about, where people give up all technology for a week or so, and just eat white rice and drink water. No, that will just make me ill, too bloomin extreme. No, I decided today, I wanted to give Foxy Lady Creations a rest, I am done! I can't be my creative self, and make anything else, as I don't have the storage, anyway its getting too soul destroying, making stuff, and still owning it, 2, 3, or 4 years later. So I am giving myself a clean, break, which also means......giving up my related social media. I am done with Facebook, done, done, done. Sick of it, sick of hearing people ranting (oops irony again), other peoples opinions, peoples opinions based on fake news or ill researched evidence. I don't need this crap in my head. I don't need reminding of what's in the news, by every tom dick and harry, I don't need updates on nearly 500 friends on FB. This also means closing my Page Manager for my business. But I am sick of trying to be jolly, and think up interesting things to discuss, when I am going absolutely nowhere with my business. I am sick of preaching about the climate, I think most people have got the gist now anyway. It's boring, depressing, oppressive and unhealthy. 
I have known this for a while, and many of you will think the same, that these social media apps, are potentially the downfall of society. Its not all doom and gloom, especially if you use it wisely, but when you are an environmental campaigner and business owner, you have to be part of it all, and I just can't be dealing with it for now.
Instead, I will just bore you all, with my daily blogs.

Friday 6th

Weather: woahhhh, its a sunny day
Feeling: I'm exhausted - mentally.
Activity: I have taken all the social media apps off my phone, and logged out of Facebook, Pages Manager and Twitter for now. The main ones where conversation occurs, and politics intruding into your day.
I started Spring cleaning, my time wasn't spent scrolling through pages, checking my followers and comments, it was spent usefully.

I am feeling agitated, but many reasons for that. I think it may take a few days to get out of the Facebook zone.

My fridge was cleaned by 9.30, then a cupboard and I prepped 2 meals all before the morning was done.
Thoughts: My head whirrs thinking about, floods, rain, corona virus, and more rain is due. I know I live on the water, on an island, but there is also a lot of flooding, we are surrounded by water (more irony) which is contaminated, more likely with sewage (I found out a week later that there was a sewage leak locally - kept quiet!!). My daughter is possibly ill because of this, yes its her own fault, in some ways, or even 'our' fault. Mia has a natural affiliation with water, she has always loved being in water, and as soon as we let her, she will be in the river, paddle boarding. She loves mucking around in giant puddles, she saw the flooding in Northcroft Park as an extension of the river, the river which we have tested previously, and know how clean it can be, but not flood water. Never again, will she do this.
Short rant at the flooding...

It was a long day, with Mia at home ill again, this last few weeks, have been getting tougher, as Mia has had two illnesses, and the weather has been horrific every weekend, and we are boat bound. I have had very little time to have a clear run at thinking since Christmas.

I relax on my sofa and look out of the window and think that I have to share it, blue skies, tree and tepee all framed by my window, what a simple view, with a story.

Tonight the sunset is beautiful on the canal, I need to share the swan gracefully swimming downstream, the waxing balsamic moon behind me. But why?

All of these things are magic, they are wonders of nature, but I need to stop feeling the need, it would make a good post, and I must share it with the world. All of this thinking is unnecessary, it also distracts you from being mindful of the view, and experiencing it in a slower time, as you rush to get your phone, and get engaged with the cyber world again.

Saturday

Weather: Dry - woop
Feeling: Very stressy and anxious, mainly due to impromptu Pizza gathering. "Richard!!" My anxiety is particularly bad today, I feel high, but its not a happy high, and its an annoying high and you feel hectic. I know if I have a drink soon, I will get drunk, because, if I feel hectic, I will drink hectic. Not a good situation to be in. I call my dad for advice, hes good like that, it kills a good 45 minutes. I was hoping for a brief afternoon kip, to potentially get my heart rate down, and my brain to go slower. Everything feels like noise, I don't want visitors, I need peace. In my head I am screaming, everyone just go away, I need a break.. and then our guests arrive.
Activity: Trying to get peace and quiet. At 5.00 I have a gin, then crack open the wine, it was a good evening , and I put myself to bed at 10.00, shocked our friends as I'm often one of the last to bed, but I had done my bit.

Thoughts: Still got lots on my mind, thinking I should maybe get rid of Messenger as well. I'm sick of seeing names, groups, previous conversations. Things I haven’t been able to commit to. A specific person asking  me to do things, in the name of the environment, just to let you know, activists offer, and should not be asked. People's profile pictures popping into my head, with dread, I need to get it all out.

OK, I have had to edit two paragraphs out, because it may upset people, and I don't want to do that. It would be quite funny for some stand up comedy, but to obvious to those people it is them, and I don't want to offend any family or friends. But basically, it was a rant, about the repetitiveness, and boringness of some peoples post. I mean, some people are so regular, you practically know all their comings and goings, you don't need all this inside your head too. For example, when so and so goes to Costa, or another person doing a daily post getting rid of tat to local groups, that kind of thing.
Why does it always happen to me? Mia brings round a neighbour and his friend to meet the kitten. "five minutes" I rant. No sooner had the 'house dwelling' boy entered the boat, he had injured himself by putting his hand on our log burner, and march him back to my neighbour. I can't deal with this right now!

Gorgeous stone baked log fired pizza. Mmmmmmmm

Sunday

Weather: Sick of this relentless weather, all the rain, and the winds, its turbulent, and turbulent times, and my brain is turbulent too. I need some sunny spring days, some stillness, I often embrace storms, but this is too much, weekend after weekend of big storms, and constant high winds. I want a rest.
Feeling: Like I have synergy with the weather e.g turbulent

Thoughts: Facebook is still at the forefront of my mind, more than it was when I was actually using it. My thoughts can still not leave the masses behind, the 450 ‘friends’, the groups I manage or work with, I just want to leave it all behind, recluse from the cyber world.

I would like to get back to the 90's when it was just texting and emails, how much calmer life was. I didn’t even know about climate change then either.

I just want to be me and live carefree and enrich my life; will I ever let go, because once you know, you know! Re: climate change. I certainly might feel better without it in my hand beeping at me,  a few times a day, here's a reminder that the worlds going to end in devastation by climate warmth. Hav445jjjj5555555555555555555555555f                                                                                                                                                                             bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbcbc cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc xcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccce a I become a doomer too? I know many

This is where our kitten sabotaged my keyboard

Black and White, I want to get away from the black and white, far right, far left, do-gooders, and the liberals well them you can just forget.

Activity: Minimal
Thoughts: I think I need to take this a step further on de- cluttering my phone with unnecessary outside world interference. So I uninstall Instagram too (for the time being)
Tribal mentality, yes I am guilty of this, but have been trying to get away from it, and yet more are being formed. Extinction Rebellion has got my goat, people following direction from Roger Hallam like he's the bloomin messiah, (apologise to Roger, he is probably a very nice, well meaning guy) They want things done their way, and expect activists to do what they want, and with a no booze no drugs policy, call themselves rebels? Yes they have done some good awareness raising, but equally it's become regime for the middle classes that want to be on trend. Also, they have made some mistakes with their actions, which I may discuss at a later date.

Many times in my home, I am looking at plastic, its on my mind. What shall I do with it? which bin bag or box? Where does it actually go after that? I'm full of remorse a million times a day. I can hear hardcore stating, don't buy it then, use alternatives. I do use alternatives, and more often than not avoid it where I can, and have done for years. But some things I buy are packaged in it (e.g meat) and there currently is no alternative, I don't have time to pop round the supermarkets with my own plastic container, I do online shopping and it comes how it comes, sometimes I might be ill haven't energy for saving the planet, or I might be too skint this month to play the game.

I'm plate spinning, and my head is the plate, I wish it would crash to the floor then I will have a break.
Lets end with something up lifting, a cute kitten photo.

Mischief Molly

Communal Off-grid living - Leaving Hibernation Spring 2020

Saturday March 14th 2020

The day has finally arrived, the first day of the year, when everyone on the moorings comes out of hibernation, and get active outside. As our boats are small spaces to live, we spend a lot of time out doors. We all get on with varying activities, or on the hotter days, we just hang out chatting, we get little else done then, its so easy to get side tracked with 5 other adults around.
Today was so inspiring, after a winter of persistent rain and storms. Fortunately our moorings did not flood like it did in 2014, but there is still a lot of flooding around our area.
There's always jobs to do as a boater. Whether its chopping logs for the fire, transporting your rubbish and recycling, or emptying your toilets. Half of us have composting toilets now, and the others have cassette toilets like you might see in a caravan.
The guys on the moorings like to make things from wood, whether its whittling, turning, or chainsaw art. Some of the group are conservationists, and we also have a willow weaver. We hand make many things, and like to be as self-sufficient as we can.
Heres some photos of the day.

Our log shed ready to fill up 

Nando chopping logs for his Rayburn

Richard doing my favourite pose, chopping logs bare chested

Lucy cleaning out the chickens

Adey doing some external boat maintenance

Floaty Boater Woodturner Lee, making pens

The kids playing Apocalypse camping

Sam the dog, waiting for someone to throw his tennis ball

Polly our resident gardener planting garlic and onions

The girls having fun barrowing chopped logs to the sheds

Narrow boat Nightmares - Fabric roll too big to get in my boat

Foxy Ladys 2019

Hi everyone, as we draw a close to this year, and about to embark on a new one, I am going to reflect briefly on the year I have had.
Business wise I have achieved my goal, which was to raise funds to go and visit my brother in Australia. Hoorah. I was hoping it would be through clothing sales mostly, but alas, I have still not found my niche market, and made it mostly through alterations.
I decided 2019, I was going to be 'kinder' to myself (excuse this over used phrase), which meant focusing on my business and my well being, and to put campaigning to one side, for a while. It was to be a year of exploring and spiritualism. This, I did not achieve, as the student climate strikes and Extinction Rebellion took off (oh and 2 elections). However, I held myself back, and did not get as distracted as I would have done in previous years.
Here are the highlights of my year, which is an exercise I would recommend any one to do, as I was quite surprised, at actually how much I had achieved!

January 2019
Pandoras Box
I started trading in Pandoras Box Emporium a new retail outlet in Newbury. Pandoras has doubled in size since they opened, and is getting more well known in the area. Currently my head scarves being the most popular item I sell, so recently I did a blog, encouraging people to come and buy clothes from there, as we now have quite a few clothing retailers in store.

February
Pizza Oven
We started the process of making a pizza oven from cob, (made with messy slimy and heavy clay) not my idea of fun in the bitter days of winter.  However when it was ready for action a couple of months later we made the best pizzas ever, stone baked using home made fresh dough.

Home made bread from our cob pizza oven

March
Sustainable Living Market and Sooty
The first Eco market in our area, which was a resounding success for some, but not so for myself. Other people had bees wax wraps and other households sustainable products too, which probably looked a bit more appealing than mine, as this is all the focused on (as I do bits of everything) and the fact their products looked prettier as mine are all genuinely made from scraps, so I do not have a 'uniform' look for marketing purposes. Hey ho. I will just focus on my clothes from now on.
The highlight fro this month though was getting to meet Sooty.

Me and Mia with Sooty and Richard

April
Visit to a Muslim country
I went on holiday to the middle East, which was a first for me. I visited my friend and her family that are residents in Qatar, it was a fun time, but not a place that suits Foxy Lady. I couldn't even have a wine in an Italian restaurant, and my clothes were certainly unsuitable, although I did try and adhere as best I could to the customs and values of their nation.

May
Eating insects, Richards 40th and The Isle of Wight
In the Spring we experimented with eating dried insects, then we had Richards epic 40th birthday bash, with at least 60 guests, and a hundred pizzas cooked (mostly without insects). We pulled off a day to remember, which included a few speeches from me and fire eating (not me)
Later that month, my daughter and I had short holiday together on the Isle of Wight, and we visited the wonderful Osborne House, which I found quite inspiring. In particular the art and soft furnishings, so colourful and bold.

Me and Rich cutting his Cob birthday cake

June
Disco Orchestra and Avebury
As per last year I went to a Nocturn event at the beautiful Blenheim palace in Woodstock, and stayed in a lovely hotel. I danced the night away to Gabrielle, Sister Sledge and Gladys Knight. The following day was summer solstice, and we headed to Avebury for some chill time and shamanic drumming, quite a contrast to the night before. Had a picnic with some friends by the stones.

July 
Cruising
We started cruising towards the Thames and its the first summer I embarked on some tow path trading, which admittedly wasn't very successful, probably due to the locations we chose to moor.

My giant XR banner taken through the centre of Reading

August
The Thames and friends
I spent time out, trying not to think about the business too much, I felt like I was stuck, and didn't know what to do next to improve sales. I guess I needed the rest.
We hung out with different friends and families that we see every summer on their moorings. We also had some lovely family time in the remote Dorchester on Thames for a few days, where I switched my internet of for the whole duration. A few days of yoga, wildlife and jigsaws.

SEPTEMBER
All systems go
September is in bold because it was a crazy month.
Back to the moorings, back to school, Mias birthday and I embarked on another project, which involved doing events again, with a new group of people that had continued on from the Sustainable living market in March.
I had a brain wave on the way to the first one, 'why don't I take my machine and tools to these markets, and offer my alterations as a service to those wanting to make their clothes last. etc?'
So thats what occurred after that, twice monthly markets, one in Thatcham and one in Hungerford.

Mias birthday dinner with all of the kids from our moorings

October
The SustainHUBle Collective and #BuyReMade
I did a few events and started actively promoting it and made Facebook accounts for it. From this more alteration projects started to come my way.
I also campaigned during October and through to November for people to buy clothes and accessories made from reclaimed textiles. For a whole month a group of us posted daily on social media, about our businesses to promote the hashtag Buy Re Made.
The Re-Makers FB group
The SustainHUBle Collective FB Page

November
Clothes Swap event and Pop Up Shop
I participated in a clothes swap event in Hungerford, which was really successful. I feel that more and more people are getting the message about the problems with fast fashion, and are prepared to wear second hand clothes.
Hungerford clothes swap 2020
The SustainHUBle Collective had a space in a new temporary pop up shop in Hungerford in the run up to Christmas

Me and my stand ready for action at the clothes swap

December
Busiest ever..
Lots of alterations to do this month, and I'm pleased to say that my monthly income has been increasing over the year. I have a whole house to do soft furnishings for, which will continue into the New Year.
I did 2 corporate Christmas events, one of which was at Vodafone, I am pleased that the rest of the SustainHUBle team did their best sales yet, bit alas, Foxy Lady had none.
To end the year on a high, I had a very good month financially and I was also featured in the inland waterways newspaper the Towpath Talk. We pick them up from marinas, and its the leading form of communication (after social media) for boaters. So when I was approached by Alice Griffin, to be her first feature for the paper I was really chuffed to say the least.
Me in Tow Path Talk

Finally, we lost 3 guinea pigs this year, so RIP Coaly, Cinnamon and Alphie

2020
I plan to get more exposure, get back into doing some really creative clothes, and perhaps widening my geography for markets. I will also continue to campaign for the environment and encourage folk to get into slow fashion.

Watch this space.

Sewing classes - Tweens and adults

Hi there
You may or may not know, that I am actually a qualified in teaching and hold a Post Graduate Certificate in Further Education, and before I had Mia and lived in Southampton I ran a few sewing / fashion courses.

Currently I have been working with my 13 year old home educated neighbour and her mum for over a year now. She comes to me for a session most weeks. When we started, 'we' weren't sure how it would go, I am pleased to say it has worked out perfectly so far. I was surprised as to how much I would benefit from it too, it really is a pleasure and inspiring too.
This particular tween has been 'unschooled', and her time with me is very much 'student' led, although I do incorporate techniques to ensure she is getting quality learning from me. She is with me to embrace her desire for clothing and textiles and learn skills. The skills she is learning are empowering for her inquisitive mind, and she can utilise them in the home or maybe, in the future in the work place.
Its not just the sewing skills she is learning, she is developing her understanding of colour, proportion, maths, culture and many other things. She is also enhancing her communication and team work skills, we work very much as a team, and we have great fun.

Although I have over 30 years experience, and have studied various fashion courses. my student, often astounds me with new knowledge. One of my favourites, which happened to be from this week, was during a discussion about the precise colour of a thread. Was it crimson? was it burgundy or as my student suggested 'scarlet'. As an avid historian of Victorian costume, she proceeded to tell me where the colour scarlet came from, and I was blown away with her knowledge.
Recently, I have had some adults in for one to one sessions, tailored to their needs. One person had a very basic dress she loves, and wanted to be able to replicate it with fabrics she has bought. We constructed a basic pattern from it, made it up and I gave her written instructions to take away with her in case she forgot anything from the sessions.
Another woman, just wanted to know how to make a basic skirt, again so she could use fabrics she finds from thrift stores and independently make them herself at home.

Simple dress in less than a day

A happy sewer

Feedback from one of my customers:

In two short sessions Sarah has taught me how to make a simple a-line skirt. Her tuition was thorough, taking me through tips for selecting fabric, measuring up and making the pattern - there is lots to think about and do before you get anywhere near the sewing machine! I can now sew in a zip, darts and seams.
Thank you very much Foxy Lady Creations!

To find more details and prices please click on this link


With the current climate, more and more people are wanting to do things for themselves, not wanting to support the 'fast fashion' industry or large corporations. Therefore, people are wanting to learn basic sewing skills so they can recycle old fabrics and make their own.
Later in the year, I am planning to run sewing workshops in central Newbury.
Please follow me on Facebook for upcoming details

FoxyLadyCreations - Facebook

Winter Tow Path Living

Monkey Bridge Moorings 2015

 It can be muddy, it can be cold, it can be isolating, it can be very, very dark, but I still love it.
For the last 5 years we have had the luxury of a home mooring, we can drift on and off whenever we like and return when we want. prior to this we lived nomadic, continually living on the 'wild side', as we now refer to the tow path.

Chugging to Kintbury on a colourful Autmnal day

Our recent spate on the 'wild side' in winter was a mish mash of cold weather and illness, however, I felt comfort in this situation, with the simplicity this life style brings and the loving side of fellow boat dwellers.
So, living on a boat in the winter, in the countryside has its ups and downs. Living like this makes you live more in the moment, enriching yourself in the wonders of nature, and the fact you have less distractions like people, technology, consumerism, pollution be it noise or light. I like this aspect, equally I can get frustrated without decent internet access, if I was in better health I would have embraced this and immersed myself in creative tasks without disruption, bliss. but it wasn't to be, and the best thing I could do to make the most of my poorly days, would have been to do admin and social networking.

Ingredients supplied by fellow boaters - alcohol does the trick

I find it interesting how much impact the 'real world' has on our senses and well-being. yes its obvious to most intelligent people that nature has a profound affect on our well being, but why?
As I said earlier, less distractions like noise and people and light pollution, so when you do hear a noise, it might be an owl, or a monk jack. This creates conversation, it makes you in tune with the seasons, like the stag calling for a mate in December. Its educational deciphering which is the male or the female owl. It is also comforting to hear those species living a normal life unlike birds that tweet during the night in inner cities because of street lights.
Wow, who knew I was this deep? Must be my age.

Beautiful views, even a child can appreciate

The basic necessities and facilities are at the top of your priorities, rather than more trivial things. Will my van start on a frosty morning? How long will our water last if we get stuck here. Do we have enough fuel to last until the diesel man comes along.
Its a bonus if you can get a decent TV signal never mind 4G, you can't take anything for granted, like in a house where you can just flick a switch, run a tap, flush a loo, by magic your amenities appear; only to be thought about when a bill comes through for them. I am not suggesting that everyone that lives in houses is ignorant of their basic essentials, but many, many people out there don't even contemplate these issues (unless theirs a problem)
Living in the countryside on a boat, you generally have to carry your shopping a long way and planning ahead can make your life easier. There maybe a local shop a 20 minute walk away, but its generally uber expensive and lacks fresh produce.

Icy gangplank or muddy one? take your pick

The views can be stunning, fields, woodland, animals grazing, the water may be still and peaceful, and you feel at one with the nature, however, it can be isolating and frustrating, particularly if you are not feeling well, physically or mentally.
Sometimes its nice to be introverted and soak in the nature and lack of other humans, slowing life down, and having less distractions, It makes you more mindful and focused, focused on the fact that there is less to focus on!
One of my pet hates of tow path life in the winter is the mud, some towpaths are stony, and some are more muddy, and the longer the winter goes on the muddier they can get. This will inevitably end up on your front deck, and inside tour boat, sometimes I even find leaves in my bedroom. Its difficult to maintain a clean home when its like this.
And yet, there is nothing more warming and positive than seeing a narrow boat on a winters day, with the smoke coming out of its chimney. I still look at other boats and think, oooh I bet its cosy in there.
Boating can get more dangerous in the winter, dark days, icy ropes, slippery lock gates, and ideally, you need to be in a position (eg retired) of choosing which day you boat, when the weather is right.
I enjoyed my trip off the mooring, its almost like a holiday, only you take all your stuff with you, and carry on as relatively normal. Maybe thats why traveller life styles suit many of us, hence the saying 'A change is as good as a rest'.
So back we are now, at our mooring in Newbury. With a short walk to town, a leisure centre next door, a water tap, and sheds filled with fuel. Prior to living on the mooring, we lived nomadic for 5 years, and have done our time struggling during winters. I'm not saying it a walk in the park here, we still have issues like frozen water taps, having to maintain the log pile, filling generators, maintaining boat engines etc.
However, its a much more comfortable existence than on the tow path, I will leave that for the Spring.

Sharing Baileys after a day of communal log chopping

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