Dopamine Dressing

Dopamin Dressing

Have you heard this new buzz phrase? 

I love it!

I have been dopamine dressing for years now, and have purposely done so for my mental health, but didn't realise it's an actual thing! According to Grazia magazine, fashion psychologists (I had never heard of this either- and I definitely want to learn more) have been researching the topic since 2012.

Dopamine dressing is about wearing clothes for a feel good factor, items that might release some endorphins to increase our mental well-being. Dopamin dressing is the biggest fashion trend for 2022. We have had a 'miserable' couple of years, and not had much chance to go out, so people can get out of their 'athleisure wear', and have a purpose to dress up again. 

The dopamin fashions which have filled the catwalks, are brightly coloured garments, mostly in block colour. I have been doing some 'colour therapy' training lately, and can share with you, some of my findings as to what colour can do for our moods. For example, green is a calming colour, which represents balance, mostly because of its association with nature; just think about how a rural area makes you feel when you immerse yourself in it. Colour Therapy, is an alternative healing practice, it can be done in the form of light therapy, art and music, and in breathing and meditation, and others.

So, although the big designers are selling bright clothes of as dopamine dressing, wearing bright and bold colours isn't for everyone. Maybe a feel good factor to you, is a pastel shade that holds memories from childhood, perhaps blending in is a feel good factor for you, so you prefer greys and beiges. 

House of holland Red silk suit

I was listening to a pod cast with Henry Holland recently, and he commented that a psychological study was done, and 'grey marl', was proven to be peoples favourite colour for wearing to feel secure, and comforted. I can't find this study, but I would hazard a guess its because it is very insignificant colour, and you blend into any where without being noticed. This was the original colour of sports wear too, which most people would wear as athleisure at home.

Dopamine dressing, doesn't have to be all about colour, it could be to do with the cut of the clothing. For example, you may feel happier wearing loose fitting clothes, as it relaxes you, and puts you in a good mood, equally, someone may chose some killer heels, because it makes them feel taller, and therefore perhaps more confident, which makes them feel better about themselves.

Henry also commented; "its [fashion] has always been a form of escapism.......and expression" , and we can do this by choosing the colour we wear. I totally agree, in my [fashion] college days, I wore a lot of black, choosing silhouette and shape over colour, these days I am mostly dressed in colour, especially in the summer, the brighter the better for me. However, being a natural extrovert, I am happy to stand out in the crowd, and not be phased by it.

So it is personal to you, so not necessarily bright bold colour as many wouldn't feel comfortable with that our clothing alters how we think and act.

You can use colour in colour in your wardrobe in a couple of ways, you may want to wear a colour to make you feel a certain way, or you might want to portray yourself in acertain way, for example, you may be drawn to yellow because it makes you feel happy and carefree, but you might wear navy, to make you look more conservative, for an interview perhaps. Here are a few ideas as to how colours can make you feel:-

Orange can make you feel energized and enthusiastic and it will draw attention to you, which is what red does too, but too much red can feel aggressive. 

Blue is a safe and relaxing colour, like green it is abundant in nature, but too much can feel cold, the more purple blue becomes, the more warming, purple is for the creativity, and can be quite spiritual. 

Here are some of my favourite dopamin clothes I have made, and why they appeal to me.

Dusty

I made 'Dusty' a few years ago now, and sold her to a woman that was going to to a Star Trek convention, she wanted to stand out from the crowd, and look authentically sixties. I used a vintage pattern, to create this dress, and true vintage fabrics of pink corduroy, and an orange and pink geometric cotton print cloth. This design came about, because I loved these two cloths, but only has small pieces of them, so I chose this design as it has panels. I love 'clashing' bright colours together, this dress is music to me eyes.

Kiki - click to buy

Kiki is made from one of my all time favourite cloths that I have found, a silk rayon from a vintage fabric seller on ebay, who unfortunately is no longer trading. This true vintage cloth is pure psychedelic, and I fell in love as soon as I saw it. Again, there was only so much available, and didn't have quite enough to make a shift dress, so i made a reversible 'jerkin' instead. It is backed with a rich olive green satin, that enhances the pinks, purples and yellows of the front.

References and further reading

Henry Holland - BBC Sounds June 2020

PSYKHE Fashion

Grazia Magazine on Dopamine Dressing

The Metro on Dopamine Dressing 2022

The Guardian on Dopamine Dressing 2017

Carolyne Mair - Fashion Psychologist

Vogue article on dopamine dressing 2022 

One stitch at a time we can help save the planet

 

Selection of 'rescued' fabrics

Pinch, Punch 1st of the month!

1st Feb 2022

Today I went out on a jolly with Steve, to source fabrics from The Green Sewing Shop located on Northbrook Street in Newbury, where we live on our boats. Steve, lives a bit further down the Kennet and Avon Canal from me in the west end of Newbury.

The Green Sewing shop, Newbury

Who is Steve? Steve Masters, has been a friend of mine for a good few years now, since we met at an Anti-Fracking Demo I had organised in Newbury. Since then, we have been heavily involved in environmental campaigns around the country; so much so, Steve ended up living in a tree to stop the beautiful Jones Hill Woods, in Buckinghamshire from being destroyed for the HS2 Line.

Steve in his tree house at HS2 site,Wendover

Steve recently approached me about collaborating together for a project that aims to stop vintage and pre-loved haberdashery items going to landfill, with the focus mostly being on textiles. He has started an online shop in order to sell a large stock of old buttons he acquired, which has expanded to other products that can be re-used, please check out the website Button Boatique

For those of you that have followed me for a while, you will know this is one of my biggest passions in life, but due to personal reasons, and something called the Coronavirus, made me put a hold on this area of my life for a couple of years. 

Apart from the environment, Steve and I share great compassion for mental health wellbeing; Steve is a trustee of Newburys mental health charity 8 Bells, and I have spent the last couple of years training to become meditation and mindful facilitator. Steve knows me well, and approached me with this idea for an e-commerce business, so I can sell my stock, and in his words 'help get my mojo back', for creating textile products. Our project is about having some fun, helping the planet, and working at our own pace, for a bit of financial reward too.

So, on Tuesday we found ourselves browsing the Green Sewing Shops sale, the store opened just before Christmas 2021, as a pop up shop. I got to know some of the staff, and I suggested that they should have a formal opening ceremony, and suggested that our local Green Party councilor (aka Steve), could be a guest for the launch.

Prior to this the fabrics were sold from the National Needlework Archive at the old Greenham air base. I have mentioned them many times on social media and in blogs, because it was my Alladins cave for purchasing all manner of textiles and notions, at charity shop prices (because they are a charity). The goods are all donations, and of good quality, often vintage, and the monies keep the National Needlework archive going.

Steve and staff on the launch day of the shop

We had a budget to stick to, but only actually spent half of it, and bought everything we felt would be useful to make desirable garments, accessories or homewares.

We were lucky to get some vintage gems from the 1970s mostly, it was great that Steve and I had similar tastes (we bought quite a bit of orange fabric). We took the fabric back to my boat, and I then set too, identifying the cloths and their potential age. Some of this was done by touch and feel, and knowing the different styles from eras, or using reference books such as  Naturally '70s Fabric by Constance Korosec . Some of the cloths I had to burn, in order to detect what they were made from e.g Polyester, its good fun, but you need to be careful so as you don't get hot plastic on yourself, or indeed, burn your home down.

A lot of vintage fabric you find is made from synthetics, which as you may know is not good for the environment. I have discussed this in various blogs, as to why I think its ok to use it. In a nut shell, rescuing as Steve and I like to put it) these fabrics, and making them into something desirable and useful stops these plastic fibres are being saved from entering landfill and polluting it. Back in the day these fabrics were made to last, and they certainly do, they often don't require ironing, and are durable enough to be given a good scrub if stained. If you own synthetic clothing, my advice is to wash it less, and on lower temperatures to help protect the planet. 

Here are some links to previous blog posts of mine Slow Fashion Plastics and Fashion and Washing tips

Our next job is to decide what we are going to make them, whether it be clothing, cushion covers or bags, it all depends on how much we have of a particular fabric, and what its weight is, will determine its uses.

Find out next time what our plans are.. one stitch at a time

Generation X Geriatric mum

I have everything to live for, I have a beautiful daughter, a kind, supportive partner, and a new baby that I adore (our 3 month old kitten Molly). My other half (OH from now on) has a good job and only a 10 minute walk away, we live on the out skirts of a prestigious market town, and own our home (albeit Narrow-boat Foxy Lady). We are financially in a position for me not to work, and still have a good life style. I have been to Australia, and Qatar to visit family in the last 2 years, and I have flights to Australia again for this Easter, so long as the Corona virus doesn't impact upon it. I am in good health, attractive (when I bother with make-up) and in general a bubbly personality. My parents are still alive, and fit and married nearly 50 years. I have a great circle of friends, some of which I would now call family. I also live surrounded by a great community, from as close as the moorings, to West fields, and indeed throughout Newbury and West Berks, I am also part of the colourful, nurturing boating community.

I have skills and talents that some people would give their right arm for. I can make clothes, I can sing, I  am funny and can cook like Nigella Lawson, my neighbours actually refer to me as the domestic goddess (move over Anthea Turner).
I live off grid, and therefore have minimal impact on the environment, apart from my recent trips abroad,which if anything is to help my mental health. I might add, and too ease my guilt I didn't not take any air travel for 10 years
So why? Why? did I end up with depression and anxiety?
I am not a qualified psychiatrist, but having suffered for a few years now with these conditions, and through life experience have a few possible answers. I think partly, it is because of my DNA, I am a 'creative', and with that comes highs and lows.
People who are naturally creative, are fortunate, and unfortunate at the same time.
Creativity can bring you a sense of achievement, it can heighten your dopamine, it connects you to other people, as you are doing something for others, to share with others, be it music, art, dance or the written word. Have I missed anything? anyway you get my drift. Equally, it brings the opposites of those, as you may feel pressure to produce, and fear of failure, you seek for your work to be admired, and of use to someone.
I am an achiever, and I like to please. Prior to having my daughter nearly ten years ago, I lived a full and energetic life, I worked hard, and I certainly played hard. I had a managerial role in the Employment Sector, I was studying for my 3rd Degree, I would go to the gym, and liked to party. My goal had always been to get a good career behind me, then have a child and probably return to work, slipping back into where I left off. I'm trying to get across that I have always worked hard and strived to be successful, and becoming a mum doesn't change this, its just your job that changes and the environment (home and village hall baby groups). Maybe we are called 'Career mums'.
I also think that being an older mum Generation X (I was 38 when I gave birth) has its pressures, not only was I constantly tired, I had standards to uphold that I had set myself. These standards are probably due to the fact that I had a long career behind me and its inbred in me. I wanted to be a stay at home mum (SAHM) I wanted to do the best job I could.
Yes you heard it right, geriatric mum. I had no idea until I just googled it now, I knew their was a medical term for mums over 35 having a child, but wasn't expecting that insult.
This blog is mainly about the adverse effects of becoming a mum later in the life, and the feelings it may bring upon you like loss of identity
I am writing this blog, as I feel that it is possible, that many other geriatric mums may have experienced similar to me, but have kept it to themselves, thinking they were alone. After all, we are strong women, perhaps we were in management in our previous lives, and had to deal with many difficult situations in our careers, so we are likely to not admit we are struggling, or totally out of focus.
I think the anxiety that I was diagnosed with in 2016 was down to becoming a parent.
Prior to having my daughter in 2010, I was a free spirit, with humour, living life to the max, motto being, work hard, play hard.

For me being an older mum, exhausted me, and changed my whole outlook on myself. By the time you are in your mid 30's, you are fully developed woman, possibly with 10 - 20 years career behind you. If you gained qualifications be it professional or academic, you may even be regarded as an expert in your field. So to then become a mum, in particular a 'stay at home' mum, your whole purpose in life is turned on its head, and your identity stripped from you.
Don't get me wrong, this is what I wanted, when I was in my 20's, I wanted to get a career behind me first, then I could easily go back to work once I had a baby. Although this idea changed in the run up to being pregnant, I wanted to stay at home and look after my child, and fortunately for us our finances allowed this.
I don't regret this decision one moment, I totally made the right choice for me and my family, and I cherished many moments being a new mum, but, it was tough at times, and probably tougher when I came out of the other side (of full time care) and she started full time school.

Sleep deprivation killed me, after 3 - 4 months she was sleeping from 11 - 7.00 am so i was lucky really. but I don't think I have ever recovered from it mentally. I can sleep for England, and relish opportunities to do so at my leisure. Broken sleep, and lack of sleep was so tough. I remember and occasion when she was bout 6 months, I sat on our front step and said to Rich, please remind me how tough this is, although, we already knew she would would be our only one. We were blessed with a beautiful, perfect, happy baby at my age of 38, I wouldn't have risked have another anyway.

I made sure she ate all the right foods, I would stress if she didn't eat, I wanted to mobilise her and socialise her. I wanted to educate her and entertain her without use of the T.V. I think the entertaining part is a modern day obsession, we feel we have to entertain our children 24/7, taking them to this group and that soft play, swimming, baby music, constructing our dining tables into Mr.Maker. Our parents didn't have time for this as more women started to work in the 1970's.
As the experts say, I slept when the baby slept, and by the time she was 2 and starting to drop her afternoon kip, I was 'shitting' myself. I relished those afternoons, on my bed, cuddling my toddler, it was 'our' time, and my time, giving me the energy to finish the day. I panicked, how am I going to get thriugh this? how can I occupy her with no energy. I set to writing a list (we are big note takers and list writers me and Rich ), of all the extra things we could do in an afternoon.

Mia started full time school in 2015, and I think this maybe where my anxiety came from. I was excited at the prospect at having more time to concentrate on myself and my sewing business. I spent a lot of my time rushing round, doing things, making as many things as I could. I felt that my creative needs would be met once again, and be myself other than 'just a mum'.
I could also spend more time focusing on activism, in particular anti-fracking. I think at the height of my hysteria, I was managing about 4 Facebook groups, and 4 twitter (possibly more). This soon got out of hand so I started to drop from a few commitments, but then I would end up adding to this by starting other ventures like a Newbury craft group, and the Kennet and Avon boat traders East End group.
I spent a lot of hours in particular on social media spreading information about fracking, otherwise known a s a keyboard warrior. Yes, I did get physically involved too, but as most of the sites were a long way from where I live, most of my activism was online. Constantly seeing the horror stories of the environment, and watching people live on Facebook, being harassed by the police, was a daily, sometimes hourly occurrence for me, no wonder I got down and anxious.More recently I cut down to my own business stuff, Friends of The Earth and a local community group. Maybe my problem is that I have to be involved with something all of the time, I need projects. So I need to find a way of managing this so I don't over whelm myself.

Me and Joey released from the nick Oct 18

When I speak to other mums that are a similar age to me from educated back grounds that are SAHMs, and they have all expressed that have, or had a form of depression around this time. The job of being a full time mum, to being a part time one can be a difficult transition.
I finally broke during Easter, I just couldn't cope anymore, the last straw was when I started staring blankly into space, feeling numb, and incredibly low. I was sleeping a lot, and didn't want to join the outside world (very unlike me as I have always been an extrovert.
I went to the doctors, who offered me meds, but l declined, thinking that if I came off the pill (getting a bit old for it anyway) and had a coil fitted and some therapy I would be fine.
The moral of this story is that I wasn't fine. Eventually I went onto Citalapram. The first week or two were bad, I was worse than ever, luckily a good friend told me this is usual and just to ride the wave. I could barely get out of bed to take Mia to school. After a couple of months I was good, functioning again, but made the mistake of stopping taking them, and I did it quite fast. So, a couple of months down the lie I was ill again. Now I am still taking them, and hopefully, I will eventually ween off them, veeeery sloooooooooowly, and if I don't, I don't. As long as I am happy and in control of my emotions, I will do what it takes. Who knows, I might even be Peri-Meni!! (Pre-menopausal)

By the way, I also embraced mediation on my road to wellness, and believe it is an excellent form of well being. This blog is also part of my well being, I love writing, whether its journaling or poetry, it gets the thoughts I have racing around out of my mind, and hopefully, you may have gained something from my sharing. Please make a comment in the box at the bottom, I would love to hear from you.
Finally its Mother Day in the UK today. I was planning to go and have a lovely meal out, but as the Corona Virus has hit the UK, we can't do that now so here's what I'm hoping for
1) Richard and Mia can go to town and buy me a paper and try to find bread!!
2) Whilst they are out I can meditate
3) I lounge around reading the paper and supplements
4) Share a lovely roast lamb dinner with Richard and Mia and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc (or 2)

Further reading:
Stay at home mums and depression article
A recent article about mums with eco-anxiety
A blog about having a boat kid
Creativity and parenting - the difficulties
My blog about living off grid
NHS - Mental Health advice